I feel so free; the pressure to change the world and tap into all my potential is gone. Obviously if God chooses to use me for the multitudes or push me to my full potential that’s fine, but it no longer requires my effort, but His. He is the motor of my pace. He is the one that guides and directs my steps while I am just a mere sheep following my Shepherd’s voice. I no longer feel the need to set myself up for world changing ministry; if that’s God’s will then it will happen but that is no longer my ambition. I’m ready for long term investments and discipleship. I’m ready to walk in the value of community and to truly live life with people. Praise God that his scripture is a constant reminder of where my heart and attitude need to be. The word is explicitly clear about the sovereignty of the Lord and our condition as human beings. Being reminded through the word of my state of dependency and where my effort, focus, and heart need to be is an anchor for my soul. I feel that God is allowing my roots to grow deep within me. I feel secure, yet reliant on him. I no longer feel tossed back and forth by the fickleness of human approval, but rather, I feel secure in knowing who the Lord is, how he sees me, and where he wants me to go.
I’m so blessed to be at Hillsong right now, and to be in a place where I get bombarded with the spirit and life-giving people day in and day out. My prayer is that I would walk out of this place fully healed by my wounds and scars of the past, and that God would restore me (“And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast” -1 peter 5:10) My heart is literally bursting right now at just the thought of it! Like I said in my first post, I’m ready to encounter the living God who’s ANXIOUS to reveal more about who He is and His plan for me—and that is what I’m experiencing! Over the past few days God has begun to stretch my imagination. He’s challenged my previous perceptions of who he is and the extent of his power and has exposed how weak and pathetic those perceptions are. It’s like watching a balloon blow up real fast; God has literally expanded past all my preconceived notions and has once again showed me why He is LORD. He is so big, so powerful, so wonderful- that he rightly demands praise. His rightly demands adoration; you know why? Because he is worthy.
Oh, he is oh so worthy! He’s the hero! He has overcome and from Him, we find the source of life. He’s the hero of all the nations, to everyone who has looked into the sky and marveled at its beauty. And he’s so beautiful!
Tonight I felt the heart of the Lord pumping vigorously throughout me, his unending love trying to burst out. I was completely overwhelmed. Wow. You love us. You rreeealllllyyy love us. Gosh you love us more than we could ever know. Your heart is so deep, so big, so wide, that the human condition can’t even put you on the map. You’re the ultimate counter-culture because your love completely counteracts the world’s definition of love and radicalizes every inch of me. You’re calling me on an adventure and I’m ready to go. Your voice seduces me. Father you are so lovely. I am in so much awe.
Thank you that you lead me in triumphal procession because you have given me VICTORY in Jesus Christ. Teach me how to walk in the fullness of you, because you are my ever present teacher. Guide my steps, direct me thoughts, filter my words so at the end of the day, you can be pleased with my heart. I have never known love like this, thank you that you are the ultimate wow factor. I’m sorry for all the ways we distort and perverse the gospel. How we’ve neglected and abused all that is yours; how we’ve tainted the love that is given freely to your creation who you love so very deeply. Teach us how to remedy this situation so that you can receive the praise that is rightfully yours. The Lord is good; my heart rejoices in that. YOU are my ultimate safety net; my shield and my protector. I take refuge in your shadow, comfort in your love. Thank you that you go beyond all my intellect and that you shun out darkness. Shine out the darkness in me. I want to stay connected to my vine. I want life and power to roll through my veins so I can be closer to the heart of my King. Be my center.
“From my heart to the heavens, Jesus be the center, it’s all about you, it’s all about you”
"He is the motor of my pace. He is the one that guides and directs my steps while I am just a mere sheep following my Shepherd’s voice."
ReplyDeleteI love this, Laura! Thank you for your transparency....this heart cry is certainly contagious! Oh, that we would know the height, width, and depth of HIS unending love for us!