Monday, January 26, 2015

Excited & Scared: Hillsong LA--the start of a new season



Going to Hillsong LA yesterday was amazing. I was so blown away by how much excellence, culture and atmosphere that was taking place. For a church that’s only been doing services for 8 months what I saw was majestic. The grace of God is truly something special. What I love about LA so far is that it’s a church built around the concept of team. It doesn’t feel like it revolves around 1 person. Hence why I believe the culture and atmosphere is where it’s at. Every service feels like a Sydney Sunday night 7pm service. That is amazing! What’s crazy is, the best is yet to come! I believe this church and this atmosphere is what’s going to change a city. Just in one service I saw dozens of people respond to the tug of God on their hearts. That is amazing! While church is fun and exciting it’s also hard work. There’s so much need! Serving in the 7pm service felt like serving at Conference. Always looking and catering to “the one.” Being intentional; not just telling but showing; helping people find seats; creating seats where there are none. Ultimately looking after the entire experience to make sure that everyone who walks through those doors feels “Welcomed Home.”

In the midst of all of that I couldn’t help but develop feelings of nervousness, fear and anxiety. This is a huge transition. I barely have any money. I’m in debt. I’ve had to leave so many people I deeply love and care for. I’ve turned down jobs so I can volunteer with a cause I believe in. Some days I feel more excitement than my body can stand. Other days I want to crawl in the corner or go back to Texas or Sydney. But I can’t. I’ve burned the bridge. I’ve chosen to go all in and trust God in new ways like never before. I need Him. Oh how I need Him. So desperately bad. I’m in way over my head. There is no sandbar to stand on. I’m in the deep away from every form of security I could depend on. But this feeling, as scary as it is, is the reason why I came to LA. I wanted to feel uncomfortable. I wanted to trust God for things that were way outside my capacity. I wanted to depend on God in ways that I couldn’t in Texas or Sydney. I believe I’ll be trusting and believing God for bigger things than accommodation or jobs one day, but to get there I need to grow my faith capacity. Where is my hope? Where is my trust? Often a lot of those things are easier said than done which is why I pray this transition will bring more of my head knowledge into real life miracles. As stated before, I’m in way over my head. I have no idea how any of this is going to work out or how I’m going to manage everything. Finances scare me, but I look to God to make a way. I’m believing that the miracles and provision that God provides in this season for me will not only bless my life but in return, will bless, encourage and build the faith of others. I’m believing for a season of tremendous fruit marked by undeniable grace. I feel so out of my ability and comfort zone but as they say, “your grace abounds in deepest waters.” Father thank you that I am a product of grace. I pray you would use this season to expand your grace in me. That it would rule and conquer every bit of self and would lead to an outpouring of grace to those around me.