Driving to the airport was all a blur. I still can’t believe I was able to pack for the next few years of my life into two suitcases and a carry-on in under an hour! Shout out to Kelsey Rea and her tremendous help as she piled all my sorted clothes into zip bags and vacuumed them shut. Once I had managed to squeeze everything together (and make sure both bags were less than 50lbs) I took on the rest of my room which needed MUCH organization before my parents attend to it. Long story short, today was action pack, from the moment I woke up until the moment I made it through security the stress pumping through my blood veins pounded rampantly without stop. I think it’s humorous that no one is surprised when I tell people that yes I went to Younglife camp the week before school started. No one I know is surprised that I’m landing in Sydney at 6:30am only to start school hours later at 9:00am. No one is really even surprised that I’m going on this Aussieland adventure, people just look at me and say that it is typical “Laura Browder Fashion” (whatever that means).
For the first time ever, I’m letting my heart hurt during this process rather than just moving onto the next and not feeling anything. I’m letting my heart feel and take in all in because I want to feel the world again. Often, waves of sadness will hit my heart momentarily as I reflect on the wonderful things that happened in my life this year; the wonderful lessons that I have learned, the wonderful memories I was a part of, and the wonderful people that blessed and loved me more than any group before. This year was truly a gift. I’ve learned the value of community and what it looks like to let people in. For the first time I’ve allowed people to love me which in return has caused me to love people even better. I’ve walked through dark valleys and faced my scariest demons. I’ve revealed and confessed some of the scariest and shameful things of my heart. I’ve worked through both the ugly and good things of my life and have learned to face my struggles instead of “managing” through the situation or running. I no longer fear exposure. I feel absolutely 100% secure in who I am because I am no longer identified by the things of my past, or present.
It was really sad to watch my family leave. This year allowed me to walk through rich forgiveness and to appreciate their love and support. I was a little choked up as I walked through security, but from the moment I made it through the other side, excitement flooded my veins. As I walked through the terminals I literally had a “spring in my step.” As I walked briskly with my suitcase in hand I felt like a little kid in a new world. Airports have always done that to me (probably because this is only my 3rd flight ever.) They’ve a very magical place to me and I’m always amazed with the beauty in people I see there. Every person who walks by me has a story and I want to hear it! For dinner I almost sat by this sweet old lady who I met in the security line but by the time I got my food she was already done and had walked away.
I don’t know if I can describe through words the emotion my heart felt as I walked to my gate. I truly feel like I’m on an adventure! I’m not really sure what’s next but I’m 100% completely ok with that! My trust is in the Lord who has done nothing but supply me with everything I need. I love that there’s no timeline or plan to my future, but rather, wherever the spirit leads. I can go anywhere, do anything, meet anything, and be anything I like because my future is unlimited. While that can be a daunting realization, I’m actually liberated by the idea. I’m ready to begin my life. I look forward to crazy stories, things not happening according to plan. I hope to meet beautiful people along the way and that wisdom will be shared as I make my way through life. Even through part of the purpose of this blog was to allow me to communicate to my friends back home, I truly look forward to the self-actualization that will come out of my capturing and processing the amazing things that are to happen in my life. So get excited, it’s only part of the journey and I’m already jazzed. Australia here I come!
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