Quick update: last night our church had "Vision Sunday" where our senior pastor Brian Houston gave vision for the entire Hillsong community (one thing that Hillsong does extraordinary well is leadership. Even if I don't learn a single thing from a theological perspective during my tenure here, I'm learning a crap load about leadership, character, vision and longevity). On top of that, we had baptisms where hundreds of people got baptized. Long story short--I got completely WRECKED by the Holy Spirit! I am not kidding when I say wrecked. At one point I was hunched over, head down, ugly crying my heart out (you know the kind of crying where it's almost like you're barking? Yep that was me) Praise God that there was music playing, otherwise people would have thought I was possessed if they had heard my wailing haha!
I don't know how to put into words what happened but basically I feel that God gave me a glimpse of his heart for humanity. I saw the world's need for God; I saw on a greater scale the world’s brokenness and how God is the ultimate solution. Over and over I could hear God telling me "I am the great solution; the ultimate hero. I specialize in making things as they should be; restoring, redeeming, breathing life upon."
JESUS IS THE HOPE FOR HUMANITY!!! (I got a deep deep DEEEPPP revelation of this!) At one point I couldn’t even lift my head towards heaven because the glory of the Lord was too much for me. All I could do was sit down and bend over and literally sob. Hysterical sobs. My body couldn’t contain all that my heart was feeling. God then went on to tell me that the church exists to carry this message; a message of hope to a broken world. He is the answer for all of humanity and his message of reconciliation is one that needs to go to ALL the ends of the earth impacting every social stratosphere, race, gender, culture etc...HE is the answer to the human condition! HE is hope!--and I am his ambassador; he uses me to make his APPEAL to people (“We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us”—2 Corinthians 5:20) On top of that, He's allowing me to become just like him ("and we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit"—2 Corinthians 3:18)—Christ is patient, Christ is kind, he does not envy, he does not boast etc...
I also got a glimpse of his steadfast love for creation (go read psalm 145 and basically I saw that). I don't know how to describe what happened next except that "my eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord!" At this point while I was crying out to God, it randomly turned into groans (only a few). I felt like that passage in Romans where it talks about how all of creation groans with eager expectation;" We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies" (Romans 8:22) I felt like my heart was screaming to the Lord that He lives! He is my rock! My rescuer! Abba Father! What a friend we have in Jesus! In his presence there is fullness of joy!—I felt the heart of the Father and wept uncontrollably for 45 min (and I mean uncontrollably!) To sum it up I saw the hope of the Lord like never before. What made this night extra special for me was the fact that I had been praying Ephesians 1 over my heart/mind for the past few weeks asking that “the eyes of my heart would be enlightened in order that I may know the hope to which I’ve been called to” Yep I'm pretty sure God answered that prayer.
Anywho, thought I'd attempt to share what happened but honestly I'm still processing it all. I've never encountered the Lord like that before but I'm definitely not complaining about it! I'm looking forward to continuing to receive deeper revelations about his character and heart and pray he continues to conform me to his image.
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