Christmas Present

Hey guys, hope everyone is enjoying the Holidays and have had plenty of time to rest/relax. I wanted to share a video I recorded at the 2011 Hillsong Leadership College graduation ceremony. Our students are so talented and put together a hymnal mash-up; it was so so good! I hope God uses it to tenderize your heart in the same way he used it to warm mine. (ps--I felt like such a sinner for recording this while everyone was worshiping but I knew I wouldn't regret it later haha!)

I got slapped in the face today.......reconciliation: nuff said

This morning I read a chapter in the Bible that hit me right in the face! --2 Corinthians 5 where one of my favorite verses comes from; “if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” (17)--this verse alone is enough to make my heart explode; it seriously should be mind blowing that we have been made NEW in Christ; praise Jesus! While I could easily write a blog entry about this verse, it’s the verses that come after it that rocked my world today.

Paul goes on to talk about how God has not only reconciled us to himself, but has given us the ministry of reconciliation. PAUSE: before I go any further I think we need to define what “reconciliation” means so we can truly grasp what’s going on here.

Reconciliation = “to make two conflicting things compatible or consistent with each other; to reestablish a close relationship between; to settle or resolve.”

FRICK! I think it’s easy to forget that before Christ we were enemies with God. I’m talking ENEMIES! Our sin put us in direct rebellion against everything that God is. Colossians 1:21 testifies to this: “Once you were ALIENATED from God and were ENEMIES in your minds because of your evil behavior.” Enemies. Rebels. Separated. We were ALIENATED; cut off from the life source.  BUT-- “now he has RECONCILED you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation.” Did you hear that?! We’ve been RECONCILED, aka: we  are no longer enemies and separated but rather, we are in close relationship; the punishment for our sin has been resolved! That is amazing! This had nothing to do with us but ONLY through “Christ’s physical body through death” has it become possible for us to be restored to the original state of communing with our creator.

As an individual this passage SHOULD stir up some personal gratitude for everything that Christ has done on your behalf; it should challenge you to examine yourself and to really ask yourself—does my heart get that I’ve been reconciled? That I’ve been restored? That I am now a new creation and can walk in the power and authority of the gospel given to me by the blood of Jesus. THIS verse my friends; is good news. The good news of the gospel is not that our lives become peachy but that we get God! We are no longer enemies but heirs! Adopted children! AAAGGHHHH!

I could easily stop here as well but I HAVE to keep going because the passage only gets better! Paul points out that not only have WE been reconciled to God through the blood of Jesus, but that he has given US the authority to share this message with the world; “All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men’s sins against them” (18) US! Not your pastor, or teacher, or parent but EVERYONE who claims to have been made new in Christ; he has commissioned us to go and share this message of reconciliation with the entire world.

We represent God. We are his plan for reaching the world. “We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us” (20). Ambassador is defined as “A diplomatic official of the highest rank appointed and accredited as representative; an authorized messenger or representative.”

We are Christ’s ambassadors. We represent God to the world. It is US who get to carry the name of Jesus and it is US who get to share this great, magnificent, impeccable, mind boggling, jaw dropping, heart stopping, life-changing message of reconciliation with the rest of the world. What are YOU doing with it?

Are you sharing this message or are you keeping it to yourself? Has your own heart even truly received this? --that you have been grafted into intimacy with God after once been alienated and enemies, without hope, and no chance for redemption through your own efforts.

The Holy Spirit spoke personally to me in verse 20 when Paul describes God “making his appeal through us.” I literally camped in this verse for an hour. I can’t even try to put into words what exactly was going through my heart and mind but what I can tell you is this: I was absolutely floored by the idea that the God of the universe wants to reveal himself to the world, and that he wants to do it through me. He has chosen me to be an instrument to make himself known; to draw men and women to him. To open the eyes of the lost, to cast light in dark places, to heal and restore, to erase doubt and implement understanding; he has chosen ME to scream at the world the REALITY of who is he, what he is about, and who he is for. O.M.G………what!?! Agh! I can’t even contain that! God is making his APPEAL to the world through me…….yep just got goosebumps. I’m 98% most of you reading this have no clue as to why I’m all hyped up about this verse but I pray that this blog triggers some curiosity in you to go and take a look at 2 Corinthians for yourself, and pray that the Holy Spirit gives you the wisdom and revelation to know what is going on here.  This blog hasn’t even touched the surface of what the Holy Spirit did in my heart today but I pray that as the body of Christ that we will not only remember the greatness of the Gospel and that it is in fact, GOOD NEWS!--But that we will be compelled by Christ’s love in us to go and reach the world with this message of reconciliation. That we ourselves will continue to be reconciled to Christ, and that the Holy Spirit will have its way in our life, and in our world.

Dealing with failure & lies

Sorry it’s been FOREVER since my last post! I encountered two problems during the time gap.

Problem #1: I had so many amazing things going on in my life I didn’t know which to write about! Instead of just picking one thought or God encounter I ended up not writing about anything which is no good! Problem #2: I had a week off from school for a holiday break which consisted of me being rrrreeaaallyy lazy aka—I sat on my couch and watched movies/worked. Yep that’s about it. And while it was nice to relax, spending too many days on the couch is not a good thing. I ended up getting into a small funk (this typically happens when you isolate yourself) with that said however, the Lord in his graciousness still gave me a revelation that I’d love to share.

We fail every day. Yet some days it’s easier for us to become aware of our failings more than others; once we are aware of our failings however, we often allow ourselves to rot there sometimes.

It is in these moments that Satan gets footholds into our lives and tells us lies. We start to think thoughts such as: “How can I read my bible today when it’s been a whole week since I’ve even opened it” “How can I pray to God when I’m so consumed with things in this world I don’t even know if I want to pray to him” “How can I ask God for anything right now, I don’t even deserve for him to listen to me.”

 1 Peter 5:8 says that the devil “prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” The enemy is adamant about convincing you that his lies are true. He wants you to feel ashamed of the sin that you’re entangled with. He wants you to feel guilty about not reading your Bible. He wants you to feel like God is angry at you and is going to reject you because of your continual rebellion. But these are lies!

As we become aware of our failures it is easy to feel lowly, despised, and rejected towards God because we feel ashamed of our condition. But there’s good news; 1 Corinthians 1 tells us that “God chose the FOOLISH things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the WEAK things of the world to shame the strong. God chose the LOWLY things of this world and the DESPISED things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him.” Did you hear that; God chooses weak, lowly and despised things. He doesn’t wait for you to be perfect before he uses you—he came for the sick not the healthy (Luke 5:31). God is in the business of using broken people to bring him glory. He’s also in the business of restoring and redeeming these broken people through his ministry of reconciliation.

God’s word says that God is sufficient (2 Cor. 12:9—“My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness”) Wisdom = God’s word applied. When am I going to start walking in wisdom? When am I going to start applying this truth to all parts of my life and not just the easy ones?

Challenge for today: return to the Lord. Regardless of circumstances or rebellion or seasons of running from God, the Lord is waiting with open arms. It is only by his spirit that you get cleaned—return to him because he is good, and his plans for you are phenomenal. Return to him and be restored because “the Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love (Psalm 103) and “his compassions never fail, they are new every morning” (Lamentations 3). The enemy wants to keep you in the lie that says you should feel ashamed about where you are. But scripture says where the Spirit of the Lord is there is freedom (2 Cor. 3:17). It’s time to rise up; its time to stop letting excuses and circumstances get in the way of all that God has for you. Today its time to step out into the unknown purposes of God.

With Everything

Today in class I got to watch this small clip of Robert Ferguson (Hillsong Pastor) preaching at the 2009 Hillsong Album Recording; OMG so so powerful! WOW is all I have to say about that!!! First off Robert Ferguson is one of my favorite people here, and every time I get the privilege to hear him speak I always walk away blessed. The spirit of the Lord is fiercely upon him and he’s absolutely brilliant which makes him such a compelling speaker.  During this clip he closes the night out by speaking a blessing onto the crowd. I hope and pray that as you listen that this blessing washes over you as well and that you receive a word from the Lord!

If you thought this small clip of Robert preaching was awesome, well get ready, because the clip continues on and gets even better! Even though Robert dismisses the crowd to go home, everyone chooses to stay and keeps worshipping despite the band not being there (they had all left the stage!!!) The only person who was left onstage was the pianist who continued to play the same melody over and over again. Without anyone leading, the crowd on their own (and compelled by the spirit) continue to sing “with everything, with everything, we will shout for your glory” over and over and over again. What a beautiful and powerful picture of heaven! I love this! Even though there was no one onstage leading worship (the drummer eventually comes out and is in tears at what is happening), the crowd was so overcome by the spirit moving that they couldn’t help but RESPOND in praise! All glory, honor, power, and praise are due to our King! I literally cry when I watch this clip and can’t help but feel the power of the Lord. I can’t even imagine what the atmosphere was like that night and it makes me suuuuuppperrr excited for the 2011 Album Recording that’s coming up October 30^th. I’m anxious to encounter God in a way that’s life changing. I’ll be sure to share what happens and will post any revelations that come out of that night. Speaking of encountering God, this weekend I’m going to a conference called “Encounter”; I’m pretty sure I’m about to ball my eyes out but it’s all good. Anywho, I hope you watch the clip, pray with the clip, and respond in worship with the clip as you celebrate the goodness of God.

Rebellious Idolaters

During chapel on Tuesday I received a revelation from the Lord that taught me what it looks like to give God all the glory. ALL the glory, even the small bit of glory that you reserve for yourself (the glory you use to feel good about yourself, to stand on; the things that give you work or value or credibility) ex:

- I helped start that ministry

- I mentored/discipled that student

- I gave that awesome talk

- I put on that event

- I went on that mission trip

- I planted that church

- I lead that powerful time of worship

- I facilitated that small group

Often when we see the fruit of our labour flourishing we want to claim credit for ourselves. We forget that its GOD who plants seeds through us and its GOD who makes them grow; we are just the tools. 1 Cor. 3:6 “I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God made it grow” There is no where to boast except in the cross of Christ (Gal.6:14 “May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ”) which has allowed us to be in the POSITION to be used by God. 2Cor. 10:17 “Let him who boasts boast in the Lord"

So why do we do this? It’s so silly but it happens continually in my life; and while I can feel bad about it and ask God to forgive me; if I haven’t come to a place of gospel centred repentance where transformation occurs….nothing has changed. The only thing that has changed is behaviour modification, aka: learning how to train yourself better to hide your selfishness from others or convince yourself that you really aren’t as prideful as people think you are. You learn how to justify your motives better.

We need to recognize our condition!

Most of us know the promises of God; we know that he is worthy of all the glory; we know that we are just instruments and yet our lives reflect a heart condition that is contradictory to these truths. We are CHOOSING to hear truth and not respond. We are choosing to hear and know what we ought to do and yet make the conscience decision not to do that. 2 Peter 1:3 tells us that God has “given us everything we need for life and godliness” and through these promises we can “escape the corruption in the world” and yet I choose to look to the things of this world to fill the needs of my flesh. I look to my friends to fill my need for security, I look towards my mentors to give me approval, I look to the people I mentor to feel loved and valued and take every path OPPOSITE of that of the Life-Giver: Jesus Christ himself. Once I’ve regained my composure (after feeling broken) THEN I come to God and ask Him to renew me. This cycle of knowing truth and yet choosing to fall down and get back up by our own means outside of God demonstrates one thing: we are in rebellion. We are choosing to ignore what he has for us. We are literally making ourselves enemies with the God of the universe……ya about that. And it gets worse…

Finding worthy or value outside of God = idolatry. Anything we place before God is idolatry. So from my analysis so far, it looks like we are rebellious idolaters…..awesome.  

As rebels, its time that we lay down are arms (surrender) and put our idols on the alter so that God can burn them up. God wants to move in unshakable power in our lives; he wants to pour out abundance and goodness in us: but are we creating enough space in our lives for God to move?

Jesus didn’t say give up everything and then go on mission trips, start churches, teach bible studies etc….he said come and follow me. There is no plan or instruction, just follow me; go where I’m going. This can rattle us because we like to have objectives, goals, and things to measure our success with. But there are none; just ruthless trust.

Are you ready to dive into the unknown purposes of God? To burn the bridges, destroy the boats, go ALL IN!!! God is beckoning you to join him on this exciting adventure he has waiting for you. Right now God is saying “I DARE you to give me everything. I dare you to trust that I am going to provide and then some to the things you are trying to find outside of me. Stop being a rebellious idolater! I dare you to take me for my word and to remember the ways I have showed up in your life; to remember the ways that I have redeemed and healed you. To remember who I am and not lose focus.

Today I’m praying that we would pray for gospel centred repentance: that we would not take lightly the power of the cross; that the weight of COSTLY grace would burn in our hearts, and that we would have a mature view of the gospel. Thank you Jesus that you have rescued us; thank you Jesus that you have redeemed us; thank you Jesus that you are enough.

It’s time to die to ourselves and make Jesus LORD; the original gangsta, the boss of our lives. Where we give up control and say Jesus YOU now sit on the throne of my life.

When this happens, then and only then are we able to pray the dangerous prayer: “Father, I am ready to be MARKED and set aside for the unknown purposes of God; here’s everything”

I am in love--poem written in response to a church talk that rocked my world

I am in love;

knocked out, head over heels in love.

My heart beats ferociously to the beat of a wild drum as His words wash over me:

I.AM.HIS.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, to lofty for me to attain!

He speaks LIFE over me; He rejoices over me with singing

In the midst of hopelessness and insecurity He looks at me and tells me how beautiful you are my darling there is no flaw in you

I.AM.HIS

He brings me birds to sing me love songs, sunsets for my gazing and flowers for my pleasing.

He takes me on beautiful adventures and long walks along the beach

In my brokenness and silence is when His presence is felt deeply; I know I can cast all cares onto Him

And what sets Him apart from all the others……He’s completely, 100% invested into EVERYTHING that happens in and around my life

He WANTS to know; he WANTS to listen

He wants to be my protector, provider, and provision

He wants to, because He possesses the power to be those things and He is.

By his nature, He is.

Not only is He loving, but He is love.

To know Him is love

To be near Him is to walk in love.

Oh how I delight in His presence; Oh how I delight in His words!

He knows every part of me, and even on the days where I’ve messed up He still chooses YES for me

By His strength He leads me in victory.

The battle has already been won and He’s anxious to share with me the abundance that has been set aside for me

Not only has His love completely restored even the most shameful parts of me, but He’s continuing to renovate.

I am no longer identified by what’s been done to me, but rather, by Him.

HE identifies me, and his banner over me is love.

He speaks tenderly to me; He doesn’t leave when I share my most hidden secrets because He fears nothing.

Nothing is subject to Him;

His love is stronger, deeper, higher and wider than what my heart can fathom.

He doesn’t have commitment issues because DELIGHTS in covenantal promises.

Even in the midst of my failures and rebellion all He asks for is faithfulness.

Faithfulness, that’s it.

Today Father, teach me to remember;

Teach me to remember so that I don’t forget the goodness of who you are,

that I will walk in gratitude and humility in light of the cross so that I can remain faithful to my life source

Letting Go

A couple nights ago God spoke to my heart at 3am about how He wants all of me; not most of me or parts of me; but everything.

I need you to let go

 Let go? Hm, maybe if I just gave a little….

NO.  Everything—I am worthy of praise

My mere presence demands it.

The fact that you can even cry out to me is a demonstration of my grace.

I am subject to no one; I am before all things

This is something my head knows and goes “duh—of course God wants all of me, everyone knows that” but if I’m honest with myself, my heart barely knows this at all. How much of my life, mind, heart, decisions, and CONTROL is the Lords…..ya about that. The Lord then proceeded to impress upon me a vision for what awaits me if I’m willing to let go. Like I said, it was 3am and I was a little delirious but I reached over and grabbed my phone and typed this up, hope you enjoy!

After you let go, you dance in a river of freedom; the outpour of your heart begins to change.

Springs of life burst out.

There is nothing to hide, nothing to prove.

You have found the source for satisfaction; for fulfillment; for life.

You are complete here, and there is joy.

Grace is your security. Intimacy is your hope.

You stand unashamed because it is all about Him.

You have lost yourself in His presence and He speaks over you love.

He rejoices over you with singing because YOU HAVE MADE IT HOME!

Outpouring of blessings and gifts await you.

Healing enters every part of you.

There is nothing to hold onto, not even bitterness or unforgiveness because you are being restored.

In the past you have settled for good, but now you are sunbathing in BEST!

The truth about who you are saturates your soul because you are able to see the reflection of who you are in your maker.

You are His, and He is yours.

His love is written on your heart; His fingerprints are all over you.

He continues to breathe life onto you because he knows that you are still human and your heart is fickle.

Every idol is cast down; every crown of glory is submitted,

because you are standing before the King of Glory, 

and your heart FEASTS on His majesty

Heart Lessons 8/18/11

I meant to post this a week ago but you know what they say, better late than never right? I wanted to post some lessons my heart has been learning. I know they’re in bullet point format but I hope at least one of them speaks to you!

Ø  Learning not to leverage my self-righteous/superiority against other people.

Ø  Praying for a heart that’s passionate about ministering to ALL people, both child and adult, Christian and non-Christian (even nominal Christians)

Ø  Learning to runs towards the Light—where sin loses its power on me. Dancing in a field of freedom

Ø  May I never forget that the blood of the lamb is upon me and power that comes in that

Ø  “we know that we have come to know him if we obey his commands”—1 john 2:3 (God doesn’t need anything but our faithfulness; all he wants is our devotion)

Ø  “This is how we know we are in him: Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did”—1 John 2:6 (Thankful that I GET to walk as Jesus did—that I even have the ability to attempt to do so!)

Ø  IN CHRIST—is where I want to be; not establishing my own kingdom. I’m praying for an invasion—for territory in my heart to be taken over and established with a new banner of identity (throughout history when countries overtook other cities, a symbol of their victory and dominance over another land was to raise their country’s flag. Praying that the banner over me would be God’s love!)

Ø  “But we know that when he appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. Everyone who has this hope in him purifies himself, just as he is pure”—1 John 3:3 (is my hope really in getting to see Jesus as he really is?!)

Ø  Complacent Christians amuse me (including myself), often a lot of us grew up in church and have attempted to follow after Jesus with several years of our life, and yet we are still babies when it comes to the faith. We don’t have consistent prayer life, our devotion time is still weak even at its best, we aren’t passionate about the body and the beauty of the bride, we want to share our faith but many of us do a terrible job of even ATTEMPTING to do so and yet we look at some many “baby Christians” and feel superiority towards them because they don’t know as much as we do yet and that we’re “farther along in the spiritual journey” than them, WHEN REALLY, as much as we’d like to think we’re farther down the road than them we’re still just about a block a head. The difference between old nominal Christians and new Christians is quite marginal. If anything, the baby Christian is farther ahead due to his/her’s vibrant heart before the Lord that aware of their sinful condition and is in touch with the love of God in their life.

Ø  Flawed attitude: came here expecting everyone to be world changers; had a standard for everyone. If you’re at leadership college—you should be able to pray out loud, you should be able to read your Bible (judged/got disappointed when I saw that people weren’t meeting this standard and didn’t feel sorry for them) “anyone who does not do what is right is not of God; nor is anyone who does not love his brother”—1 John 3:10

o   “And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son,  Jesus Christ, and to love one another as  he commanded us”—1 John 3:23 (WOW)

Ø  When I pray and confess my sins I should always keep in the forefront of my mind that “the one who is in me is greater than the one who is in the world” so that I can understand the power/MAGNITUDE of what is indeed happening as Jesus is “faithful and just and forgives my sin and purifies me from all unrighteousness” WOW

o   Garments of mourning to garments of praise

o   He is the vine-dresser and is clothing me with life (compassion, humility, joy, love, peace, patience, kindness)

Wasted Effort that leads to Exhaustion

  This weekend I had a lot of down time to sit and relax (a lot of it consisted of me sitting on the couch all day watching Friends haha). In that downtime I began to reflect on the busyness of my life and how I often feel exhausted at many points throughout the week. Why is this? I am someone who enjoys being busy, I tend to go 150mph all the time and yet here I am completely wiped with everything I have to do in a week. Gosh If I’M tired, I can’t even imagine how other people feel who aren’t wired like me and don’t enjoy fast paced lives. In this bit of reflecting I began to pray about it; because honestly, if this was how the rest of my year was going to go, I wasn’t sure if I was going to make it! And that’s when God revealed three major areas of my life that I often waste time and energy on resulting in exhaustion.

Our job in life is not to police the world, carry other people’s burdens, or impress people with how awesome we are; it is to proclaim the name of Jesus Christ and Him crucified. And yet, I often find myself busied with the three things I just mentioned.

1.       Policing the world: I’m often critical of other people’s decisions and behavior. I spend a lot of time making sure people are doing what they’re supposed to be doing (ex: chores, serving, meetings, jobs, morality, spiritually) and forget to show grace or even hold myself to the same standards that I hold others too (how many times have I forgotten to clean the bathroom when it was my turn or skipped out of a meeting that I was supposed to attend).  We judge ourselves by our motives and other by their behaviors.

2.       Carrying others burdens: I’m constantly wanting to help others, to pour into them, to make sure they’re ok (often at the expense of myself) What I’ve learned recently is that I love people more effectively and efficiently when I’m taking care of myself first. I have enough to work on let alone the shortcomings of others. As I find wholeness in the Lord, that wholeness is then poured out onto others. We are responsible TO people, not FOR them. It is not my responsibility to heal, cure, redeem, and restore other people. Those are areas of ownership that are not intended for me.

3.       Impressing others: I want people to see me in the right light; to see my gifts and abilities, to know my heart and see what a great value I am in a friend. The root of this is people pleasing. I want them to recognize my value and approve of my life. Maybe if they see this they’ll want to be my friend or do things for me. With this paradigm, I’ve created my own formula. Me +all the good things about myself = you wanting to be my friend. It literally is like an exchange: my value as a friend in return for your approval or recognition. The only problem with this equation is that there’s a downside to this formula. Me + my character faults and slip ups = abandonment from you as a friend. This is not real relationship. Instead of spending my time selling myself to others and maintaining the image of how I want people to recognize me—if I spent that time being vulnerable and humble I would develop real relationships that are strong, authentic and intimate. Everyone wants intimacy in life, and yet we try to take other routes besides vulnerability to get there. Eventually all routes go through vulnerability so why not try skipping all the shoots and ladders.

While these are ugly parts of my heart, the good news is—I serve a God who redeems. He’s able to take these twisted parts of me and restore them. What areas of your life need restoring? What areas of your life are you depending on your own strength? What are things that you are wasting time and energy on? (not sure, anything outside of pursuing God’s glory is a good place to start) I would encourage everyone this week to do a little soul searching themselves and create time in your life for the Lord to move because he wants to breathe life and freedom into your life, and yet often, we don’t put ourselves in a position to receive these things.

Security

 In the 24 years of my existence, I can count on one hand the number of times I have been homesick; and of those times, most of them, if not all of them, have occurred under the age of 11. With that said, if someone had told me that I was going to be homesick while in Australia I would have laughed. Preposterous! I am someone who lives very much in the moment and have been blessed to find friends wherever I go. And yet, in the 4 ½ weeks that I have been here, I have had two “freak out moments.” I call them “freak out moments” because that’s exactly what they are; my body literally freaks out. Out of nowhere, the realization that no one here knows me comes and hits me in the face like a ton of bricks. It truly is the weirdest sensation! Everything is foreign, there is no familiarity anywhere. Not only am I alienated from those who love me but I don’t even have access to them! I can’t just pick up a phone or go for a visit; I am literally thousands of miles and thousands of dollars away! Agh!

 It’s a scary realization to know that no one here knows my heart; that no one here has any obligation to be my friend.  If I were to offend someone, they have no reason to love me because that foundation of unconditional love (where someone chooses to love you even through your failures and character flaws) hasn’t been established yet. This is scary! You don’t realize where your emotional security lies until it is taken away from you. All of the places that I used to find security in are now gone. I’ve been stripped of all that is familiar.

It was during one of these “freak out moments” where I was crying in the bathroom (because I didn’t know who I could trust) that the Lord spoke tenderly to me. He gently reminded me that even though I can’t find security or trust in people right now, I can find security in Him. He is my refuge. He is my safe place. My downcast soul then rejoiced by my circumstances. How lucky am I to be in a position where everything that I find identity and security in, has been stripped; that I am in a place where I am being forced to depend on the Lord! (Otherwise I can’t survive!)Back at home it’s easy for me to desire these things, to want to be dependent on God and to trust him. But when I’m surrounded by things that define me, it’s hard to find security only in God, because I can easily create security for myself in other things.  

Finding security in the Lord and not in people is a quite a process; it’s not about who’s around you or what THEY say or think, but it’s about being identified by His presence and what He says about you. My motivations for my actions are not for myself or for others, but for the Lord. I am for HIS pleasure, HIS will alone. He is my sustainer. He brings me life. I am full in His presence and His presence alone. Hillsong College is special because it brings you to a place of servant-hood; the only reason you have to MOVE (not serve, teach, or sing but move!) the only reason you have to breathe is for His pleasure. Only in His presence can I find emotional security.

I’m also learning to live outside of my ability. Right now I can’t pursue kids (I don’t have a car), I can’t get a job, I can’t create intimacy within my relationships; I HAVE to depend on the Lord. To survive I need His strength; my own efforts will fail me. I’m learning how to trust God beyond my own thinking and allowing Him to make His grace abound in me. In a world where we are trained to be skeptical of absolute truths, God alone proves that He is trustworthy. He is TRUSTWORTHY! He is consistent. He is our refuge. He is our protector and source of direction………Do you trust him?