Excited & Scared: Hillsong LA--the start of a new season

Going to Hillsong LA yesterday was amazing. I was so blown away by how much excellence, culture and atmosphere that was taking place. For a church that’s only been doing services for 8 months what I saw was majestic. The grace of God is truly something special. What I love about LA so far is that it’s a church built around the concept of team. It doesn’t feel like it revolves around 1 person. Hence why I believe the culture and atmosphere is where it’s at. Every service feels like a Sydney Sunday night 7pm service. That is amazing! What’s crazy is, the best is yet to come! I believe this church and this atmosphere is what’s going to change a city. Just in one service I saw dozens of people respond to the tug of God on their hearts. That is amazing! While church is fun and exciting it’s also hard work. There’s so much need! Serving in the 7pm service felt like serving at Conference. Always looking and catering to “the one.” Being intentional; not just telling but showing; helping people find seats; creating seats where there are none. Ultimately looking after the entire experience to make sure that everyone who walks through those doors feels “Welcomed Home.”

In the midst of all of that I couldn’t help but develop feelings of nervousness, fear and anxiety. This is a huge transition. I barely have any money. I’m in debt. I’ve had to leave so many people I deeply love and care for. I’ve turned down jobs so I can volunteer with a cause I believe in. Some days I feel more excitement than my body can stand. Other days I want to crawl in the corner or go back to Texas or Sydney. But I can’t. I’ve burned the bridge. I’ve chosen to go all in and trust God in new ways like never before. I need Him. Oh how I need Him. So desperately bad. I’m in way over my head. There is no sandbar to stand on. I’m in the deep away from every form of security I could depend on. But this feeling, as scary as it is, is the reason why I came to LA. I wanted to feel uncomfortable. I wanted to trust God for things that were way outside my capacity. I wanted to depend on God in ways that I couldn’t in Texas or Sydney. I believe I’ll be trusting and believing God for bigger things than accommodation or jobs one day, but to get there I need to grow my faith capacity. Where is my hope? Where is my trust? Often a lot of those things are easier said than done which is why I pray this transition will bring more of my head knowledge into real life miracles. As stated before, I’m in way over my head. I have no idea how any of this is going to work out or how I’m going to manage everything. Finances scare me, but I look to God to make a way. I’m believing that the miracles and provision that God provides in this season for me will not only bless my life but in return, will bless, encourage and build the faith of others. I’m believing for a season of tremendous fruit marked by undeniable grace. I feel so out of my ability and comfort zone but as they say, “your grace abounds in deepest waters.” Father thank you that I am a product of grace. I pray you would use this season to expand your grace in me. That it would rule and conquer every bit of self and would lead to an outpouring of grace to those around me.

3 Things I Wish My People Knew

Felt like God really spoke this to me: He highlighted three things that he wished his people knew:

1.       “I wish my people knew”……that the goal is to be transformed DAILY to become more and more like Jesus in ALL aspects of life (internally and externally)— “And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit” 2 Cor. 3:18 —Often we settle in our transformation, especially after our external lives have been cleaned up. We often don’t allow the Gospel to transform us internally because we, for the most part, are good moral people. But Jesus didn’t die on the cross so that we could keep living a natural experience; we are supernatural beings living an extraordinary life! To get there though, we HAVE to continue to transform our hearts and minds so that we can walk in all that was accomplished for us!

a.       Need to be transformed in our thoughts, attitudes, emotions, mindsets, habits, thinking patterns; how we perceive and handle others and yourself, how we handle unforgiveness/offense etc…

b.      The goal is to act and look like Jesus (which can never come to full fruition BUT—you keep striving and surrendering yourself over because as you do—you will be able to walk in a greater authority and will access/walk in the new life given to you through the cross (the old has gone the new has come! 2 Cor. 5:17)

c.       Walking in this new life is what Christianity is all about! Not just about forgiveness but righteousness! You WANT to walk in your new life because you CAN’T walk in the things of the flesh. You are led by the Spirit now and not the flesh (Romans 8!!!)

                                                               i.      There is a need to be continually transformed into the likeness of Christ (for we “are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory!” 2 Cor. 3:18) We are image bearers!

2.       “I wish my people knew”……that their job was to build the Kingdom of God here on earth NOW! (He said—most of my people aren’t even looking to see my kingdom here on earth let alone trying to build it!)

a.       Church = a place for heaven and earth to collide

b.      Church = the radiant bride of Christ; like any good bridesmaid—what are you doing to make sure the bride appears stunning on her wedding day? How are you helping to make sure she looks so beautiful that on her wedding day it takes the groom’s breath away? That he cries just by looking at her.

c.       We need a revelation that church is not something that’s all about me! (stop being consumers and start being producers!)

d.      Church is NOT something you attend regularly (or go to when you need to be fed) it’s something that you build into. How are you using your time, energy, resources and creativity to build the church?

e.      Jesus’ message = the kingdom of God is here! What are you doing to proclaim and build that in your local community?

f.        Once we get a revelation of the bride and understand our role in making her beautiful, not only with churches and Christian hearts be flourishing, but there will be no room for dissention or competition with others.

g.       It is essential that we understand that part of being a follower of Christ is to build the church. “People who have been hurt by people need to be healed by people, in community”—Let’s make the church all she can be!

3.       “I wish my people knew”…… the significance and importance of partnership (eyes to see the body)

a.       We need eyes to see what we can do together as a whole and not just on our own. Instead of being in competition with other people, churches and ministries, we need to learn to value the power of synergy and work together to build and strengthen local churches.

b.      Often we become possessive with our time, talents and abilities. We see other people flourishing and want to take their song or idea and make it better. This is no good!

c.       We also need to know the value of honoring other people. Maturity is the ability to see that people are insecure and fallible and still choose to place honor!

d.      How are you talking about other ministries or pastors? How are you talking about your own pastor and other people in authority? Church is not supposed to be “us vs. them”; we can do more together than on our own.

e.      Need to pray for eyes to see the body with large depth—she’s c complex, she’s multi-dimensioned. The body isn’t just composed of pastors and singers—it needs artists, writers, thinkers, athletes, business people, out-going, introverted,  personality, humor, theater, set design, production, teachers, moms, dads, musicians and the list goes on.

If every believer could live their life in view of these three things then I believe that we as a body of Christ would not only be flourishing as individuals, but also as a body at large. The best days of the church are still head—can you believe that!?!?

Preaching Workshops

A couple weeks ago I got asked to preach at one of our weekly preaching workshops that's student lead. I had less than a day to prepare so be gentle with your judgments :-) Preaching Workshops have been a blast so far and I have truly enjoyed getting to grow and learn from other passionate speakers who are called to preach the word. I thought I'd post some of the videos so you could get a taste of some of the talks; enjoy! (click the link to go to the video)

http://youtu.be/rW7bDid-3sA  My Sermon--(it's always soooo awkard to watch yourself haha!)

Laura Browder- Testimony Sermon

http://youtu.be/uCE3dW_CuSk --Riss Lewis--one of my best friends here who is incredibly gifted! The first part of his sermon got cut off but it's still good!!!

 

 http://youtu.be/Oko4WybAqM0  Chris Skjortnes (and his beautiful wife Tania)--a passionate preacher from Norway who will be leading churches one day!

 

Colour Conference #1 Reflection

 
Colour was absolutely amazing! I had the honor of hosting during the conference and was extremely grateful for this position! As a host I got to greet the women at the door and help them find seats. It was cool for me to observe the diversity of the women in attendance.  All ages were represented; there was even a large presence of senior aged ladies. I remember thinking to myself “do these women know what they’re coming to? Will they even like it?” It was during worship though that my heart got shattered for the group of women present; this conference isn’t just a message for “leaders” but for ALL women in EVERY demographic and culture. Watching thousands of women young and old engage in worship and press into the Spirit reminded me of how universal and good the Lord is and that He is ALWAYS at work, ALWAYS healing and ALWAYS beckoning His creation to know Him more. At this point it became easy for me to serve the women; in fact I wish I could have done more! This burst of compassion compelled me to go around holding babies so that mothers could be freed to encounter God in worship!

In between preparation for the first day I was sitting in the front row of the first level with two other friends relaxing for a bit before continuing to pass out seat drops. Without being aware of their presence, Bobbie Houston and Julia La’Bell came and sat behind us. Bobbie even reached down, tapped us on the shoulder and wanted to know how we were doing. I chuckled, said I was doing fine but said “the real question is how are YOU doing!?!” -- (seeing that Colour is her baby and something that she is extremely passionate and zealous about). She looked at me with blood-shot eyes and told me how she hadn’t slept the night before but was doing well. This encounter later inspired me that night when I was exhausted and had to go through the rows picking up rubbish/resources. I remembered thinking to myself, if Bobbie Houston—exhausted, and blood shot—can push through her exhaustion and still preach and host with excellence, then I can too! What a woman that girl is! Bobbie does an excellent job of balancing between being approachable and down to earth yet maintaining the ability to become a warrior leading the beloved into battle. In her eyes you can see fierceness, focus and compassion; I love that I get to sit under the teaching and direction of this woman!

Speaking of inspirations, my new favorite person is Brooke Fraser (I know this is a little obvious but I’m late to the party—I had no clue who she was until I came here, so be patient with my past ignorance!).

 Brooke Fraser leads worship like no one I have ever encountered before; this woman is tenacious! You can tell that she takes what she does seriously; she feels the weight of her words and carries the praise of God. She is intense with her delivery and uses her gifts to usher women into the presence of God where healing, reconciliation and revelation occur. I aspire to do the same in my own life!

Obviously Beth Moore and Priscilla Shirer (the two speakers of the weekend) killed it in their designated teaching times.

 Both of these women are from Texas so I was burning with Texas pride all weekend :-) It was cool to see their preaching techniques and to compare the commonalities and differences between them. Even though both are different they both communicated the word passionately and delivered messages of truth and revelation.

Overall the weekend was nothing short of extraordinary. I feel incredibly privileged to be a part of these events and to witness all that God is doing through Hillsong Church. What’s crazy though, is that on a weekend where I had absolutely ZERO expectations for receiving anything for myself (due to my role of serving in hosting) God completely spoiled me. Not only did I cry in every worship service -- (where the Spirit was working tenaciously in my heart)—but I also received two prophetic words from two strangers that I had just met. Prophetic words in general are often encouraging but what was special about these words was that they were spot on with what God had been speaking to me in the past few weeks. A spirit of intercession also fell upon me at one point. I don’t think I’ve ever prayed that tenaciously in my life! I was speaking out words and promises of God over the women begging the Holy Spirit to move and for revelation to occur; such a cool memory that I will never forget!

The highlight of the weekend though came during the last night in the middle of Beth Moore’s talk. A prayer that I often pray is that God would bless me with the ability to communicate the gospel with clarity. This week God bean to question me, asking me why I felt like He had to wait to answer this prayer later, why can’t I believe and pray for this ability NOW! Now!?! Ugh….I donno; I always assumed that this would be something that I would grow into and receive 10 yrs down the road. I immediately saw how silly this mind-set was and decided that I would “attempt” to start believing for this ability now (not quite as bold and confident as I need/should be but hey, at least I have an expectant attitude right! Haha

There’s so much more I could say about Colour but I need to keep this entry somewhat short. Bottom line: God showed up, God moved, and God is raising up a movement of women ready to take on the plans and purposes of his will!

My Heart's Cry: I Am A New Creation!!!

Today after class my heart was overwhelmed by the Holy Spirit, and all the scriptures that I had been meditating on these past few weeks, came boiling up inside of my like a hot tea kettle. I ended up writing this out in between classes and thought I would share it with you. My hope is that you would not only see a glimpse of my heart in this declaration of the new life that I have in Christ, but that God would also use it to speak to you, and that you would receive a deeper revelation of the new life that you have in Jesus.

God has made you a victor; and he has commissioned you to go and walk in this victory.

Jesus Christ, the chief cornerstone, leads you in a triumphal procession.

The fullness of the deity now lives in you and has given you power and authority.

The name that every knee shall bow to, that is above ALL disease, ALL sickness, ALL lies,

Now lives IN you, and YOU bear that name.

YOU are co-laborers with Christ. YOU are now an HEIR.

YOU now approach the throne of grace with confidence

YOU now ask for anything in His name!

The question is WHAT ARE YOU ASKING FOR!

Father I want to know you; I want to know the hope to which I’ve been called to,

 To know the riches of the glorious inheritance I have been given in the saints,

And to know the incomparably great power you have given me who believes.

I want to know you and your voice.

To know who I am in you; to know that you have given me NEW life. 

To know that in this life, NOTHING can stand against me.

 I want to know your love and to become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.

 I want to live my life with a revelation of who you are and to be renewed in the attitude of my mind.

 I want to know that the healing power of Christ resides in me and that because of that, no fear, no insecurity, no hurt, no pain, no bitterness no lie has ANY hold over my life.

I was dead, and now I am alive.

I used to be corrupt; broken; alienated; and hostile towards God.

But now-- I’ve been made new;

 Whole; adopted; redeemed; reconciled; and restored IN Christ.

No longer am I in rebellion but now I am in submission; Submission to the King of Kings and Lord of Lords; my precious King who waves his banner over me in love.

My King who does not treat me as my sins deserve or repay me according to my iniquities; who forgives ALL my sins and heals ALL my diseases,

Who redeems my life from the pit and crowns me with love and compassion.

I sing in his presence; in Him I can do all things. ALL things are possible for me.

 My competence does not come from myself but from Him who equips me and sustains me to do the impossible

 I am no longer a natural being living an average life but a supernatural being living an extraordinary life.

There are no boundaries for what I can do in him.

I can do everything through him who gives me strength

Making the decision to honor in areas of offense

  The last day of Powerhouse Summerfest was awesome! Worship was insanely great and on top of that, we had a techno rave party that was CRAZY along with a heavy metal band called “The Chariot” which rocked the roof off of our church. Sometimes I wish I had enough guts to jump into a mosh pit but I know I would get absolutely destroyed if that ever happened haha! (and I’m sure I’d break a toe or something considering that I wouldn’t be wearing closed-toed shoes but rather my good and faithful Chacos; aka: my Jesus sandals :-)

Out of the various talks on Friday my favorite came from Hillsong City campus pastor Chrishan who gave an unbelievable message about honor.  Chrishan pointed out how easy it is to become offended by the people we were so amazed by; it’s easy to grow an attitude of offense towards people. We need to learn to honor what we’ve grown familiar with (so good!!!)

How true is this statement! I can’t even begin to count the number of people that I have placed on pedestals or have had high expectations for only to be let down or disappointed once I realized that they’re broken just like me. We’ve all done it; it’s part of our human nature. The challenge here isn’t to stop placing people on pedestals but rather, to change how you respond to someone once you see that they aren’t who you thought they were. What do you do in that situation? Do you run? Do you cut them out of your life? Do you begin to talk bad about them? It’s funny how fast the pendulum swings once the junk in other people’s lives come out. Now instead of being amazed by your preconceived notions towards an individual, you are not only let down by these expectations, but now this person’s behavior OFFENDS YOU! It actually bothers you and causes you to become bitter or resentful and even pissed that you ever thought differently towards them. Clearly this is bad! But I must confess, the reason why this talk was so influential for me was because there were people in my life that I was wearing offense from.

So how do we get out of this cycle of having expectations for people only to be let down over and over again? Chrishan made an excellent point by saying that we need to adopt an attitude that seeks TO honor; not to BE honored. Wow. How freaking humbling is this!?! This statement is literally the opposite of how my flesh is designed. But isn’t that the beauty of the gospel; it takes the standard by which we measure the world and ourselves and flips it upside down. Imagine the change that would occur in your life if your heart really got this. Imagine what kind of freedom you would walk in if your thoughts, actions, and energy were focused in a way to honor OTHERS instead of seeking honor for yourself. Scripture is clear that we are called to take on the nature of a servant. Jesus repeatedly challenged his disciple to not be concerned with titles or positions but to humble yourself and that the Lord would lift you up in due time.

So how do you honor all people?

You search for the gold in someone and put weight on that. Honor = putting weight on something

Ø  Even in the midst of discovering the insecurities in people make the decision to honor.

o   If you choose the path of dishonor the only person who will be damaged is you

Ø  Maturity = the ability to honor AFTER you see how fallible and insecure people are

Ø  Decide to honor for every reason there is to dishonor

Ø  When we fail to honor people we aren’t allowing God to use us to work in other people’s lives. We are robbing ourselves

Ø  We can honor others with…..our possessions, words, actions, and heart

Ø  When we honor we bring back wonder and amazement in areas that were once full of offense

Ø  Luke 14:7—parable of the wedding feast; take the lowest place so you can be esteemed and not humbled

Anywho, hope you enjoyed this blog and were challenged by some of the points. I know for me, I’ve been challenged just by revisiting this talk.

My eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord....

Quick update: last night our church had "Vision Sunday" where our senior pastor Brian Houston gave vision for the entire Hillsong community (one thing that Hillsong does extraordinary well is leadership. Even if I don't learn a single thing from a theological perspective during my tenure here, I'm learning a crap load about leadership, character, vision and longevity). On top of that, we had baptisms where hundreds of people got baptized. Long story short--I got completely WRECKED by the Holy Spirit! I am not kidding when I say wrecked. At one point I was hunched over, head down, ugly crying my heart out (you know the kind of crying where it's almost like you're barking? Yep that was me) Praise God that there was music playing, otherwise people would have thought I was possessed if they had heard my wailing haha!

I don't know how to put into words what happened but basically I feel that God gave me a glimpse of his heart for humanity. I saw the world's need for God; I saw on a greater scale the world’s brokenness and how God is the ultimate solution. Over and over I could hear God telling me "I am the great solution; the ultimate hero. I specialize in making things as they should be; restoring, redeeming, breathing life upon."

JESUS IS THE HOPE FOR HUMANITY!!! (I got a deep deep DEEEPPP revelation of this!)  At one point I couldn’t even lift my head towards heaven because the glory of the Lord was too much for me. All I could do was sit down and bend over and literally sob. Hysterical sobs. My body couldn’t contain all that my heart was feeling.  God then went on to tell me that the church exists to carry this message; a message of hope to a broken world. He is the answer for all of humanity and his message of reconciliation is one that needs to go to ALL the ends of the earth impacting every social stratosphere, race, gender, culture etc...HE is the answer to the human condition! HE is hope!--and I am his ambassador; he uses me to make his APPEAL to people (“We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us”—2 Corinthians 5:20) On top of that, He's allowing me to become just like him ("and we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit"—2 Corinthians 3:18)—Christ is patient, Christ is kind, he does not envy, he does not boast etc...

I also got a glimpse of his steadfast love for creation (go read psalm 145 and basically I saw that). I don't know how to describe what happened next except that "my eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord!" At this point while I was crying out to God, it randomly turned into groans (only a few). I felt like that passage in Romans where it talks about how all of creation groans with eager expectation;" We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies" (Romans 8:22) I felt like my heart was screaming to the Lord that He lives! He is my rock! My rescuer! Abba Father! What a friend we have in Jesus! In his presence there is fullness of joy!—I felt the heart of the Father and wept uncontrollably for 45 min (and I mean uncontrollably!) To sum it up I saw the hope of the Lord like never before. What made this night extra special for me was the fact that I had been praying Ephesians 1 over my heart/mind for the past few weeks asking that “the eyes of my heart would be enlightened in order that I may know the hope to which I’ve been called to” Yep I'm pretty sure God answered that prayer.

Anywho, thought I'd attempt to share what happened but honestly I'm still processing it all. I've never encountered the Lord like that before but I'm definitely not complaining about it! I'm looking forward to continuing to receive deeper revelations about his character and heart and pray he continues to conform me to his image.